Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
