If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
