Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
