Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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