I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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