Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
