remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
