I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
