i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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