I don't usually arrange sex via text message
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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