His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
