I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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