is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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