now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
