this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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