Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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