i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
