this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
