my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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