i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
