he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Life is so much better after having sex.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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