He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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