Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
