You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
