i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
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