I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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