I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we're making bets on your personal life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
