they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
