addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
