let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
