Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
