She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
