Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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