from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
