I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
