I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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