Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
