I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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