now i know why i became what i already was.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
