Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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