Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
