It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
