So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
