porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
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Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize