i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
