I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
