I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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