I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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