I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
