she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
