well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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