it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my poor anus
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
