So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
