Please, let me fuck your mom
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
