he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
