he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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