i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
