Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
