Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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