I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
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Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
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These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I came so hard my ears popped.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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